Confessions of a serial plant killer

Tag : Kids Cushions

Reader caution: The more you know about home improvement, thehappier you were before.
Little did I know that five years ago when I began my flowerpotproject, I would fuel a string of family jokes longer than awisteria vine. The laughs begin every June when I bring home a flatof annuals from the nursery.
"Call the humane society," the kids chime, "Mom's planting again."
"She sinks more money than a pirate ship," my husband, Dan,mutters.
Har, har, har. OK, so I had some early floral failures, but I'veimproved. Problem is, every time I overcome one gardening issue,another sprouts. But failure and humiliation don't deter me. Andnext year, I have even grander planter plans. But first, let myfive-year killing spree spare the lives of your annuals.
Year 1: I plant flowers in five large outdoor containers. Three weekslater, the planters look like the business end of a broom, friedstraw. Dan renames my planters The Jameson Botanical Cemetery.
Year 2: I hire a flowerpot expert to select and plant flowers for my fivecontainers. I cling to her like English ivy to learn where I wentwrong. Lesson 1: Pick the right plants for the exposure. If a plantsays partial sun, it wants no direct sun. Period. My planters gettwo types of sun — full and brutal. Lesson 2: Water more. Alot more. In summer, flower pots need at least one good drink aday, sometimes two, which I totally get. With the kids home fromschool, I could use a couple of drinks myself.
Year 3: My flowerpot expert has run off with her sketchy boyfriend. I moveto Plan B: Do what she did. Fortunately, I saved all the markersfrom the annuals she planted and have pictures of the planters. Ablooming idiot could copy them. I plant proven sun survivors:marigold, vinca, geranium and petunia. I water so much Dan sayshe's going to build an ark. The next week, half my crop dies in ahailstorm. The rest die from spider- mite infestation. Mites, likeinsurance companies, like to pick on previously traumatized prey.
Year 4: I turn to drugs. Despite what one of my purist plant friends says— that overfertilizing hooks plants on drugs — Ifigure, these plants aren't driving anywhere. I pour Miracle Gro inthe watering can with every watering. Flowers bloom like Fourth ofJuly fireworks. I mix insecticide that targets mites in the pottingsoil. Success!
Year 5: I'm cocky enough to think I've mastered outdoor containergardening. I plant the pots, water and fertilize excessively, andwatch my flowers thrive. Then, one afternoon, as I smugly kick backon my deck to enjoy my finally thriving flowers, I read an articleabout outdoor spaces, and suddenly need a defib machine. Thearticle says that real flowerpot aficionados design their pots.They don't just get the exposures right, and put tall plants in theback or center, short plants in the front and cascading plant atthe rim. They coordinate foliage to complement furnishings.
What? I want to throw in the trowel. Now I can't sit out and enjoythe flowers. I'm too busy critiquing their color combinations andcoming up with designs for next year's pots.
If summer flower survival is good enough for you, stop reading herebefore I ruin that. But, if you tend toward the obsessive —who, me? — here's a crash course in advanced flower potting,courtesy of Steve Hill, a greenhouse manager at Arapahoe AcresNursery in Littleton.
I never used to care what color my flowers were so long as theyweren't brown. However, experts plant purposeful — not random— color. When I first learned this, I wanted to crawl in adark closet with 4 pounds of See's candy. Two popular schemes:monochromatic, flowers of all one color (all white), or variedshades of one color (light and dark pinks); and complimentary,colors opposite each other on the color wheel (deep blue-violetpansies beside orange marigolds).
The style of pot and its foliage should go together. Mexicanpottery and Mexican heather; Italian pottery and Italian goat'shead; French urns with lavender and herbes de Provence.
This isn't just good dietary advice. Sophisticated gardeners thinkexplosive color is for amateurs, and focus on the subtlety ofblended greens — lime and deep purple potato vines beside avelvety gray dusty miller. Mix not only different colors offoliage, but also leaves with different shapes and textures.
Put glossy leaved plants in matte pots, matte leaved plants inglossy pots.
The uberly compulsive match the print of their outdoor fabrics totheir flowers. Say you have palm fronds on your cushions; putpotted palms and pots of tropical flowers around. Because mypillows have a hydrangea print, and hydrangeas would croak on mysun-soaked deck, if I want to make the ranks of advanced containergardener next year — and show my family — I either needto buy new pillows featuring sun-tolerant florals, or import shade.Once again, too much knowledge spoils everything.