James Earl Jones Jr. and his silky smooth voice provide thecommentary

Tag : silk imitation
Cross The Line 07.17.08
Posted by Wendell Mitchell on 07.18.2008

Lots of squash and not a whole lot else as I debut a new columnabout Impact. Good thing they changed their motto, because theycertainly didnt epitomize the old We Are Wrestling catch phrase.Join me inside if you will&

Howdy all. I'm Wendell Mitchell and would like to welcome you tothe debut edition of Crossing the Line . You can normally find me in the MMA zone writing the criticallyacclaimed (reviled, whatever) Eight Sides of Steel. I love MMA, butI'd cheat on it every time with wrestling. I'll do my best to liveup to at my immediate predecessor because I just don't possessByer's venom. Unless it involves Vince McMahon's ass; then thevenom shall flow like the mighty Amazon. Okay, enough of that. Onwith the show!

James Earl Jones Jr. and his silky smooth voice provide thecommentary for our obligatory recap of Victory Road.

To the parking lot we go and emerging from a luxurious vehicle isthe always-lovely Sharmell. As she lovingly strokes her ill-gottenbooty, Booker T steps out wearing a swank leopard skin robe.

After the opening video, Booker inquires, "Can you dig it sucka?"Yes sir, I very well can. The belt does look good on his shoulder.Not as good as Sharmell though. Damn she's fine.

Booker has a few less than kind words about Joe then extols his owncredentials as champion. Jim Cornett is out to spoil thefestivities though and has the unmitigated audacity to tell Bookerto return the gold to that peasant Samoa Joe. I guess to prove myassessment wrong, Joe's out next wearing a suit for like the thirdtime in his career. It's not bad. He's no Booker, but hey, who is,right?

Joe brings the disrespect, calling Booker's pimp ass robe rat skin.I like calm, collected Joe. Angry Joe reminds me of the things Idon't like about Cena. Speaking of Cena, apparently we're notsupposed to be able to see Booker if that hand gesture is anyindication. Vengeance shall be Joe's, sayeth Joe and HHH would beproud of how long this opening segment went.

To the back& . Beer Money is with Lauren and Roode's a sad mammal of some sort.Lauren is smiling at Beer Money's misfortune, and Roode channelshis inner misogynist by telling her to shut her cake hole. Jackieshould German suplex her ass so Crystal can make her triumphantreturn. Not that Lauren hasn't improved; she's just no Crystal.Beer Money makes the rules sweet cheeks and they plan on whippingsome fans or something. Sadly, no alcohol fueled shenanigans fromStorm. Why I ponder why, let's look at some&

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Back from commercials and JB is with Kaz. Kaz overreacts to JB'sunstated insinuations just a tad. I still love you Kaz. Let'sfollow Kaz to the ring for our first match of the show!

Match 1: X-Division Championship
Kaz (w/ footage of his leg drop at the PPV) vs.