Dressed to kill: Mugabe’s threads of dread

Tag : polyester threads

When Robert Mugabe is thrown on the scrap heap of African politics,I pray there will be room on the list of his wrongdoings for onethat deserves more mention than it gets: his fashion crimes.



Not even Google reveals any criticism of those frightful floralfabrics that the Mugabes, and many of their supporters, have takento wearing lately — “Bob’s bilious blouses”as one of my colleagues describes them.
Time was when you could rely on the Zim megalomaniac to turn out ina suit that looked like it had been crafted in the Armani workshopsor a Hugo Boss factory.
You could guarantee that he’d outsmart all the top guys, evenour Trev , at presidential summits — though his huge, oftenpeach-rimmed specs have always been a tad “Benoni in the’90s”.
In fact, he still looks like that when he manages to sneak into oneof the European capitals he’s supposedly been banned from .
He also looked elegant in khaki polyester during the recentelection.
And I even voted Grace, resplendent in baby pink, the best-dressedpresidential wife at a banquet for women guests during theCommonwealth Prime Ministers’ Conference a few years ago. DidI get flak for that!
For years he’s encouraged home supporters to attend rallieswearing fabrics awash with his photographs. Many is the news pic orTV clip we’ve seen showing deeply undulating bums withBob’s face bobbing (if you’ll pardon the expression) upand down as they do the Zim toyi-toyi.
But lately the Mugabes have lowered the fashion bar by making theirHis & Hers rally outfits from the same type of cheap cottonmaterial — this time with what looks like old-fashioned razorblades in the design.
These come in all colours. I’ve seen suits with backgroundsof red, green, orange and yellow with the blade sign on them, allhideously worse than the day before.
Flower prints with delicate blooms and stems have also been seen inorange and green.
Who does he find to design these cloths?
Perhaps his Chinese friends don’t just supply him with arms,but also with tasteless fabrics and faux Armani.
One thing I hope is that, when the law-enforcers come along to lockhim away, they will bring along a contingent of the fashion police.
Nowhere are they more needed!

lTELL US: Do you agree that Robert Mugabe should be tried forcrimes against fashion?