Where have all the nosegays gone?

Tag : spandex sateen


Given that we work in print, it should not be startling to anyoneto learn that here in The Telegram newsroom, we love to have funwith words.

Glen Whiffen, our web editor, can laugh himself silly writingheadlines for the reader photos that appear on his News on the Gopage. He's turned that page into a whimsical place and is downrightinnovative, coming up with clever twists of phrase and even coiningnew words.

A squirrel having a nibble inside someone's birdhouse has arrivedat "Nut's Landing." A flock of three swans becomes a"Swanvoy."

Mind you, you should probably expect such flights of fancy from aboy who grew up cosseted in wisps of Bonavista fog.

Then again, I suspect many flights of fancy have been grounded bythe fog in Bonavista.

But I digress.

Another one of our editors, who also happens to write a wonderful,literary column, refers to the act of selling his writing as"prose-titution."

A reporter last week writing about Corner Brook's lonely male swan- (They're called cobs. Why?) - came up with the headline"Single white male."

We sit around the newsroom and talk about how the word"Squamish"- as in Squamish, B.C. - sounds like a sickfeeling in your stomach. About how Blatch Avenue sounds like astreet where you'd find lots of cats coughing up furballs.

I'm crazy about words and wordplay and even word faux pas. One ofmy own claims to fame is being the editor who missed the typo thatresulted in a page 1 news brief encouraging people to takeadvantage of the "pubic tours" being offered at the"sprawling historic edifice" known as Government House.

Talk about your bad visuals.

Out with the old

Admittedly, I'm a bit of a softie when it comes to words. I getattached to them. Oh, I know language evolves and is affected andadapted by a myriad of factors, including the introduction of newtechnologies. But while it's fun to see new words come along -metrosexual, "text" as a verb, emoticon - I'm always sadto see perfectly good words fade from use.

I was at my niece's wedding shower a few weeks ago, and severalpeople doing a word puzzle asked what a "nosegay" was.

You can't blame them. You never see little girls in summer dresses- or with curling tresses - skipping along with nosegays in theirhands these days.

Or posies, either, for that matter.

Now it's all iPods and MP3s and talking on the "cell."

And how come no one perambulates anymore? Times were, you couldalmost always count on seeing someone out for a perambulation on aSunday morning. Now people barely go for strolls - it's all runningand power-walking and sneakers with little wheels built into them.

How come nothing's ever made of sateen nowadays, or velveteen? Nowit's fleece this and microfibre that. Gore-Tex and Spandex andLycra.

When was the last time you hauled on a pair of vamps? Or slapped apoultice on your wound? Seen anyone around with a hickey? How abouta cowlick? (Confession: I've got one - a cowlick, that is).

All of this thinking about how the best words are being winnowedout of the language is making me feel melancholy. Can someonestrike up a tune on the calliope to cheer me? Is there no onewilling to play the jester? What in the world's wrong with a littletomfoolery?

Help! I'm having an anachronism. I need a glass of cordial.

Sorry - I got carried away there for a moment.

Like-minded?

The truth is, some words and phrases deserve to die a naturaldeath.

Permanent wave: a hairstyle that (if you're lucky) lasts only a fewmonths.

Training bra: what were we training them for, exactly?

Going steady: as opposed to what?

But then there are the lyrical words, the descriptive ones - wordsthat conjure up an image of exactly what they are and could benothing other. Words like conjurer. Dapper. Dastardly. Islet.Flotsam. Limpid. Nefarious. Ne'er-do-well. Periwinkle. Satchel.Serpent. Thug. Veranda. Vermilion.

See what I mean? If you do, and you'd like to join my crusade tohelp save archaic words that seem destined to go the way of thegreat auk, drop me a line and use your favourite old word in asentence. Posthaste.

The way I figure it, the more we use 'em, the less chance there iswe'll lose 'em.

Pam Frampton is The Telegram's story editor. She can be reached bye-mail at pframpton@thetelegram.com or by good old-fashioned post.