Laura on Life: Marley and the ghosts of car buying

Tag : Socket Wrench

Well, after months of deliberating and saving money, we finally gotour Prius hybrid. I don't want to sound like a commercial forToyota, but this car actually gets the 54 MPG that they say itdoes. Whoo-hoo!
Buying a new car is such a strange experience, though. My husbandalready did his homework before going to the dealer, so there wasnothing the sales people could tell us that we didn't already know. In fact, the test drive was just a formality to be sure that myhusband's 6'2" frame could fit behind the wheel without his headscraping the ceiling. In case anyone wonders, he fit with plentyof room to spare. As far as we were concerned the sale was a donedeal.
The whole car-buying experience left us feeling like Scrooge in AChristmas Tale except that Scrooge had not yet been convinced whenthe ghosts came. We were. But Marley, the salesman, told usabout the different ghosts that would be visiting us before wecould call the sale complete. There was no way out of this. Wehad to sit there and listen to each ghost before they would hand usthe keys.
First, there was the ghost of Cars Past. She told us about all thedifferent things that could go wrong. These descriptions echoedall the jalopies we'd ever driven in the past and she warned us totake advantage of the extended warranty to avoid the same problemswith our new car. Because we were stingy, like Scrooge, and likedto gamble, not like Scrooge, Cars Past did not convince us tochange our wicked ways and we passed on the extended warranty. Cars Past gave us a look that said, "You like to live on the edge,huh?" and told us to remain seated. She would send in the ghostof Cars Present.
Cars Present was a pleasant enough fellow. He was there to show ushow our new car would work. I was as stubborn as Scrooge. I knewalready that it was as simple as turning it on, putting it in gear,and pressing the gas pedal. I didn't need to hear any more. ButCars Present insisted on telling us in excruciating detail just howa hybrid car's insides worked; as if I would ever find myselfopening the hood with a screwdriver and a socket wrench in hand. No thanks, Cars Present. If I have any trouble, I'll just bring itback here. I can see the little pictures on the dashboard. Ifanything pops up, blinks insistently, or bleeps annoyingly, I'llread the manual. Let's move on.
Cars Present led us to the scariest part of our car-buying journey. We needed to talk to the ghost of Cars Future. I wanted to skipthis part. If anything would prevent us from buying this car, itwould be Cars Future. He was to go over just how much thiswonderful car would cost us every month for the next five years. After Cars Future finally got to the bottom line, we learned thatthe payments were definitely do-able!
"Sign here, press hard, keep a copy," Cars Future said.
We signed, we pressed hard, we got a copy. Then Marley returned,jingling his chains. No wait. Those were the keys to our very ownPrius: The car that would save us a bundle in gas and didn't costanymore than our minivan did!
We woke up the next morning, threw open the window, and yelled toour neighbor who was walking her Corgi.
"Hey! What day is today?"
She looked shocked to see a couple of lunatics hanging out of awindow in their pajamas. "Saturday," she answered, hurrying away. She was clearly concerned that whatever we had was contagious.
Saturday! That means we can drive our new Prius all day long, Ithought, as I skipped to the garage in my bunny slippers...and thegas gauge probably wouldn't move one iota! We knew that becausethe ghosts of buying cars had told us.
You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more columns and info about her books.
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