They want to move in together; other woman moves to block

Tag : long distance call
Question: I've been in a long-distance relationship with "Mark" for eightmonths. The distance hasn't been too much of a problem, as we'reusually able to visit each other about once every three weeks.We're finally at the point where we want to move in together, whichis exciting. Unfortunately, we've come across one major setback:his housemate, "Kim." They're good friends, and nine months ago,they decided to go 50/50 on a house together. Kim said she would beuncomfortable sharing a house with a couple. I thought Kim and I had a great relationship and I don't understandwhy she would feel uncomfortable, since she's rarely there. Irespect her opinion but am floored that she actually said no, sincehe does own half the house. Now they aren't speaking and I feellike she's basically stunting the growth of our relationship. Markand I are scrambling to come up with alternatives. Is it reallyfair for her to say no? - Still Floored Answer: Completely. Her home, her sanctuary, her call - hello, regardlessof hours spent there. I suppose you could preface each of thosewith "half," but even then, her vetoing you from half the houseeffectively means you're out. You and Mark are upset, sure. No onelikes it when Mommy says no. Until, of course, they grow up to appreciate Mommy for keepingtheir youthful (read: harebrained) schemes in check. Obviouslyyou're adults, and, thanks to geography, you're no doubt accustomedto sharing a home when you're together. However, your details andmy math suggest you and Mark have spent about 10 weekends together.That's pretty thin. Even if it turns out that you're 10 weekendsinto happily ever after, your renting your own place in his townwouldn't hurt anything but your bank balance. Cohabitation can tell you whether you can stand each other on adaily basis. In the process, it can also drag a relationship wellbeyond its sell-by date: When faced with the prospect of not onlybreaking up, but also finding a new home, and, ugh, separating allthat commingled stuff, not every unhappy cohabitant has thestrength to go through with the breakup. They become slow-motioncaptives to blah.