Guitar Hero and Rock Band give new meaning to "rock and roll excess"

Tag : USB Band
It might sound like insanity, given that the fourth installment inthe Guitar Hero franchise could end up being the most successfulgame of 2008. It won't even hit store shelves till late October,but details leaked recently have set off an alarm in my head.
Why the concern? For the first time ever, the GH series will apethe format of its rhythmic rival, Rock Band — the king ofpseudo-jamming games, at least for the moment. That means we'll allbe ogling a new six-piece plastic drum kit (complete with rubbercymbals), a microphone, and a newly designed 12-button guitar.Throw in an extra axe for your bass-playing bro, and you've justblown another $250 on genuine fake instruments.
But I'm already over the sticker shock. After all, Rock Band provedthat nobody balks at a wallet-draining price if the game rocksconvincingly.
The real problem is that GH4 and RB2 will soon be upon us and I have zero room left for this shit . By 2009, I will have accumulated no fewer than 14 phony guitars,a new one added to the pile with every hit sequel and new console.My home is clogged with plastic peripherals, and they multiply likegenital warts at an Ozzfest after-party. No way am I the only onedealing with this.
Remember when your worst gaming hardship was a drawerful of tangledNintendo controllers? Try finding a place to store a half-dozengiant rubber drum kits, once this Guitar Hero/Rock Band feud really heats up. Rumor has it that both factions are looking to add fakekeyboards to the mix, which means the couch or the fridge is gonnahave to go.
And it's not just Guitar Hero's fault. USB microphones creep likevines into every crevice of my entertainment center from years ofKaraoke Revolution sequels. There's a junkyard of Mario Kartsteering wheels, Wii Zapper add-ons, and one gently used Wii FitBalance Board jammed under the coffee table. I could re-tile mykitchen with Dance Dance Revolution mats. Then there's the Wiimote:If the whole point of the thing was that it mimics a tennis racket,why exactly did we need to snap an actual tennis racket on the end of it?
I could shovel this crap into the closet, but then where would allthose Donkey Konga bongos go?
Certainly not in the trash. And that's the other problem: You can'tjust throw this stuff away. The moment you pitch your originalGuitar Hero axe, you'll be overcome by the urge to shred through"Bark at the Moon." (And who among us doesn't ache for a game ofWorld Class Track Meet '88, now that we've ditched our NES PowerPad?)
When I played Guitar Hero for the first time, I was thrilled to seethat peripheral-based games were finally transcending novelty tobecome legitimate, enduring fun. But be careful what you wish for;at least when Tamagotchi was popular, it fit in my damned pocket.
So I will spend the summer drooling over the next Guitar Hero, andI will wait for the inevitable news that some poor sap has beencrushed under the weight of his tiny plastic instruments. I'm allfor rock and roll excess, but this ain't what I had in mind.