Harriet Carter and the Penis Leaker

Tag: Electrical Fitting

Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday mo-fo's. Just the other week I complained that Harriet needed to update her crapalog and then this week...BAM...new products! By now, you know my life goal of making it into the Harriet Carter catalog. Well, I may not have made it yet, but as you can see from the sponsorship above, I am the a website which discusses the suckiness of New Jersey and also sells some hilarious t-shirts. Be sure to go visit them and buy a t-shirt because part of the proceeds go to charity and by charity I mean me. No joke, I get a percentage. I am technically Failure Model Dude. Operation sell out rules! ANYWAY, this week Harriet brings back Failure Model Chick, helps with your pissing problem, kills television, and protects your $15.00 all at the same time. She is a treat with whorelike qualities and that's what I like about the beast. Let's go!

Oh no you didn't. Oh no you just did not! You did NOT just bring Failure Model Chick back into the Harriet Carter catalog and make her model old man eye glasses!? This, perhaps, is the best day of my life. Where to begin? Well, first and foremost she is absolutely doing her best "Don Knotts from The Incredible Mr Limpet" impersonation and she has it down to a science. As a sidenote, looking at Failure Model Chick in these molester prisoner eyeglasses makes me Mr. Limpet if you know what I mean...and I think ya do....because I'm 12...and a pervert. No joke, I think her lips are photoshopped in and I'm pretty certain that half of her has been animated. Don't get me wrong I'd love to watch a full feature Failure Model Chick cartoon, but this is a little too much. And why the hell isn't she looking through the eye glasses. They're not bifocals, right? Seriously she looks like an 85 yr old man who's going thin on top. That's a pretty sweater too. Very youthful. What could she be thinking when they're shooting her? I assume she's praying that bullets come flying out of the camera instead of flashes. As a sidenote, 2 Minute Chef hasn't had any new crapisodes in a while. I hope she's not out of work. Eh, maybe she'll turn to porn. Thanks Harriet for making this Wednesday a little extra special for me!