Perfect fault free software: finally launched

In a shock press release this morning I learn that Perfect Programming Inc. has launched version 1.0 of its “Superb Software Suite” (SSS).

Finally, we can get our hands on a fault free piece of software that is guaranteed to work faultlessly for all perpetuity. Its 100% guaranteed 24/7 uptime comes packaged on a handy 1 Meg memory stick and installs for all popular operating systems in just 30 seconds.

Super-intuitive in its use, SSS will be appealing to seasoned software engineers, but is so easy to use that novice programmers, students and hobbyists should be up and running and able to code within five minutes of install.

“We couldn’t believe it really. I mean who would have believed that we could just knock up the perfect software suite that needs no testing wherever it is deployed. But, stone me, we just threw a few ideas into the pan and out came this perfect solution,” said Dave ‘honest’ Datadodger, CEO CTO president MD and global VP of Perfect Programming Inc.

Available in both open source and propriety formats, SSS features an autonomic lifecycle management unit in its kernel that literally means you can just install it and walk away. Or as the company’s single-sided A4 instruction ‘manual’ puts it, “Stick it in the side of your PC and go off and have a nice hot cuppa.”

Scalable for use in large-scale enterprises such as banks and major corporate businesses, the SSS product is equally suitable for use in two-person “Mom & Pop shop” size businesses from gas stations to grocery stores. Its auto-update functionality has been stripped out due to version 1.0 already having a complete feature set guaranteed to work in a state-of-the-art format until at least 2345 AD.

You can download “Superb Software Suite” at no cost from the company’s website.