To kids, parents are unwanted paparazzi

Tag : Zipped Hoodies

I feel the need to pounce on them with a camera.
With a 21-year-old in college and a 16-year-old in high school, mygirls are, at this very moment, leaving their childhood behind andmoving into adulthood so quickly it makes my head spin. There arefew moments when they're in the same room at the same time and whenit happens, I want to capture it on film ... er ... digital pixels.I want a simple smile-for-the-camera pose or the two of them,arm-in-arm, being the close sisters that they are.
The thing is, I never get that.
My loin fruits have developed a freak extrasensory camera awarenessand can detect the second I am going the push the little silverbutton on my little silver camera.
It is at this moment that they go from being shiny, charming youngwomen whom I often brag about to strangers to strange beings withodd behavior and subterranean expressions. They make it theirmission to make sure I do not get a decent picture of them. Sadly,they have been successful.
For Mother's Day 2006, I have pictures of them with their eyesrolled upward and their tongues hanging out. Pictures fromChristmas 2007 are of my daughters with their entire heads coveredin wrapping paper. Wrapping paper heads, I call them.
I took the camera with me in a recent excursion to the mall with mybeloveds. My plan was to walk ahead of them as we entered, turnaround and click. With my digital armed and ready, I whirled aroundfor a quick shot and just as I hit the button, my children leapedinto the air.
So now my Visit To Mall June 2008 pictures include my offspringsuspended in mid-air in a public place.
Sigh.
The paradox of my daughters' anti-photogenic ways is that they areof the myspace, facebook, camera phone generation. "Generation pic"I call them because they're always camera ready. They think nothingof taking photos of themselves and of friends all day long, but lettheir mother whip out a camera and all bets are off.
It's quite maddening.
I'm not the only parent dealing with this non-pictorial phenomena.I saw a dad going through the same thing the other day at Sonic. Hewas sitting at the picnic table out front with his kids. He hadfour, two about high school age and two about middle school age.The group was enjoying their time together. This guy was a greatdad. He had his kids laughing and engaged, even though three ofthem were texting during most of the meal. You could tell it wasn'tobligatory family time; he was enjoying their presence and theywere enjoying his.
So he did what any parent would do in a moment like that, he pulledout his digital camera to capture it forever. I've made the samemistake many times myself.
The entire mood changed the second the camera emerged. The kids dideverything they could not to be in the picture. They ducked theirheads, turned away and pulled up their hoodies. It broke my heart.I wanted to pat this dad on the shoulder and say "I understand, myfellow parent. But be grateful. At least your children aren't doingthis," and then show him my pictures of Easter 2005 where mydaughters decided to stick their fingers up their noses for a fauxpick just before I started snapping photos.
I vaguely remember my mom behaving in a similar picture-obsessedfashion when I was young. I don't know if I rolled my eyes orpretended to smell my armpits like my precious little darlings havebeen known to do, but I'm sure I was resistant at some point.
The paradox of parenting is being able to hang on while you let go.The older your children get, the faster they slip out of your life.You learn to grab what you can - a picture, a trip to the mall,some ice cream at Sonic - while you can.
Even if all you get is an image of a kid with his hoodie zipped uptexting on his phone or two kids with wrapping paper heads, it'sstill a great reminder that all the effort was worth it.
Timmi Toler is The Daily News city editor. To see strange picturesof her strange kids, visit timmitoler.com and click "the momstuff." Contact her at 910-219-8458 or ttoler@freedomenc.com .