I'm losing the faith

Tag : casual socks


I am 31 years old, and I have decided that I think I am feelinglonely.
I find it difficult, (to the point of almost getting panic attacks,I believe), to meet and talk to other people, be they male orfemale. I am supposed to be a Christian, but I believe that Godmade a mistake by putting me on this earth. God doesn't answer myprayers about finding my purpose in life and I am therefore leftwith the conclusion that God doesn't care about me. Why doesn't Godjust end my life instead of letting me live like this? It's as ifGod takes some morbid pleasure in watching me suffer/not enjoy mylife/be lonely. If I was to change my belief system, I would havenothing else, and God knows this. I really wish I wasn't me. Pleasehelp me, if that is possible.
Anon

First we have to address that there are different issues you aredealing with. You dont say what is causing/triggering the panicattacks and when did they start. You may need to get psychologicalcounselling to pinpoint what is causing it and how to deal with it a good Christian counsellor would be a start. If youre notcomfortable with a counsellor, then you should research the attacksand do the various exercises that are recommended
The only definitive thing you have stated was that you believed Godmade a mistake in making you. If that is your foundation, thenthats the root of the problem. As a true Christian you have got tobelieve and not doubt that what God says in his Word is true, andnot depend on your emotional feeling at the time, (since all of usexperience roller-coaster emotions every day). You have got tobelieve that God cares deeply about you. The Bible says, Greaterlove has no one than this, that he lay down his life for those Heloves and also God so loved the world (that includes all of us)that He gave His only begotten Son). He loves you (and all of us)so much that he was willing to die for you. If you truly believeGod loves you just as you are, youll begin to feel special aboutyourself, but youve got to ask God to renew your way of thinking.Since everything stems from our thoughts, you should concentrate onthe positives that are working for you. Write down all of them(theyre blessings) no matter how small they may seem, e.g. I canfeed myself, I can talk, walk, I have a home, joy, some food, etc.Surround yourself with positive/inspirational/gospel music andbooks. Repeat this verse in Jeremiah 29:11 and believe it: "I knowthe plans I have for you," announces the Lord. "I want you to enjoysuccess. I do not plan to harm you. I will give you hope for theyears to come. Therefore Gods plan is not for you to experienceharm as you believe, but to give you success and hope, but you havegot to believe and act in faith. And as you write down all yourblessings, you will begin to receive even a glimpse of His purposefor you. Another verse is 1Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Himbecause He cares for you, and remember you Can do all thingsthrough Christ who gives you the strength.








FAULT FINDING

Dear Sherry

My man is upsetting me. I am sick of his annoying mates ringing offhis phone all the time. I dont understand them or why he evenassociates with them. I know it may seem that I am fault findingbut whilst I am on a roll let me say I hate his special shirt thathe keeps on wearing every weekend and I wish hed learn to pick uphis football gear and socks? I really dont want to trade him inbut why does he feel that its a womans duty to put up with thissort of bad behaviour.

Juliette

Its normal to find fault with a boyfriend and in your case itseems that yours is a new relationship. Sometimes men haveinsensitive habits that need to be changed; other times it might bethat you want life too perfect and thats not realistic. Neithermeans your relationship isnt good. It may be that your lovelyHabitat-filled flat is now covered with smelly, muddy football kit.If one person is tidy and the other is more casual, it doesnt meanyoure incompatible. You just need to compromise. If he moves 30%in your direction and you move 30% in his, you might find sharingspace is easier.
With regard to his dress sense, I understand that some men looklike they get dressed in the dark. Some men are clueless aboutclothes but, instead of laughing or criticising him, suggest you goshopping together so your opinion gets taken on board. Suggest somepositive changes rather than just being negative about everythinghe wears.
Oh I do agree with you when it comes to this point. Some men lovebelching, farting or being outrageous to impress each other. Justexplain that this doesnt work for you. The best way to motivatehim? Tell him research shows farting reduces the possibility of sexby 80%. Trust me he will have impeccable manners in no time.
So you have tried  and failed  to love is motley crew. Ratherthan criticising his friends and picking on their faults, try toappreciate his loyalty and companionship, which are positive traitsfor your relationship. Eventually his loyalty will shift to you, sodont trash him for being accepting of mates who have all sort ofodd quirks. You may need to turn off your FFM (Fault FindingMicroscope) for a while whilst this relationship has sown its seed.




Taking a friend to bed is a risk

I am surrounded by lots of men who are friends but lately I havebeen thinking that one of these friends really like me more than hesays. I think of him as a friend and dont want to upset thebalance but I do like him as well.
Sonia

We have a tendency to put men firmly in the friend box and thendarent risk the friendship by crossing the platonic line. This isa shame as theres a potential lover in your social circle at anygiven moment. You could be missing out on a fab relationshipbecause youre paralysed by over-analysis. You need to beultra-alert to the clues that your rapport is more sexual sparkthan friendship fizz. Check yourself before you move forward onthis occasion. If you have a dormant desire to be with him you willfeel a twinge of jealousy when he gets a new girlfriend; rememberall the compliments hes paid you; have more than a casual interestin his love life; see him one-on-one regularly, as well as in agroup; and get annoyed if he turns up to meet you looking like hehasnt made an effort. If he calls you after hes had a rubbishdate and he buys you the perfect birthday present, then insistsits nothing (remember the cameo brooch Ross bought for Rachel inFriends?). If in doubt, get an attached (and thus impartial) mutualmale friend to do some discreet digging. Promise him lunch inreturn for his diplomacy!



MOAN OF THE WEEK
Have you noticed that women are really pouting their mouths whenthey are taking pictures nowadays? Its not our thing  itsadopted from people who have had to have injections in their lipsto look like us. Fix up girls!


SHERRY DIXONS BIO
Sherry Dixon has been the Editor of two lifestyle magazines in theUK and the Caribbean. She is a Motivational Speaker and Beauty andRelationship Consultant on Choice FM, BBC Radio London andColourful Radio. Sherry also runs make-up workshops teaching womenthe tricks of the trade of make-up application. Email yourquestions to relationships@sherrydixon.net





Published: 14 July 2008
Issue: 1329